Sunday, June 3, 2012

Ruth McKee Wedding Speech


My name is Ruth McKee and I’ve had the distinct pleasure of being counted among Jennifer’s closest friends for several years now. I met Jen in graduate school in San Diego, though through a strange coincidence it turned out we had also gone NYU together, but somehow never met. In any case, our friendship was fated, but I have to credit her with making it happen.  Our first year at UCSD we ran in slightly different circles, but at one point during our second year she just decided, out of the blue, that we would be friends. She asked me out to lunch, and then and I had moved to Los Angeles and started a theatre company with her.
 
I tell you this story because I know that those of you who already find yourselves in the sway of Jennifer’s friendship probably have similar stories. She may appear harmless, but secretly Jen is pulling all of the strings, and somehow getting us all to do exactly what she wants while making us think it was our own idea. And if you’re only just getting to know Jennifer now, you probably will have a story like mine soon. Because Jen is a collector. Of clothes, of animals, but mostly of people. And she is a woman of impeccable taste – it’s no surprise that she made her living in New York shopping for a costume designer. She has an incredibly keen eye for the things that are unique and precious in life, and when she finds people who are unique and precious, she holds them tight.
 
But this loyalty that Jen has for her friends comes with a dark side, and that’s her generosity. Now you may be thinking, “generosity is a wonderful thing!” and it is, but for Jen, it can sometimes be a problem. She can be so generous with the people that she loves that she often leaves herself with nothing. I like to call it Jenerosity with a “J”, and I define it as “the act of giving away your shirt before anyone has asked for it.”  And this quality, as you might imagine, often leaves Jen stretched thin, and burnt out. She is an exceedingly capable woman, people often say she could run a small country, and after seeing her in action as a producer I have no doubt she could. But at the end of the day she is often so busy taking care of everyone around her that she forgets to take care of herself.
 
So that’s where Dan comes in. When she starting talking about this handsome stranger she had met in her Korean class, I knew she had really found someone special. Someone who at the end of the day, when she was finished taking care of everyone else, would be there to take care of her. And as their relationship progressed the most remarkable thing I noticed was the complete absence of drama. He was just there for her, in all the ways that count. He makes sure that she eats and sleeps, and within weeks of starting to date him, he was doing her yard work. He puts up with, and even encourages her acquisition of new people and animals to populate their commune, welcoming them all into the fold. As you may know, Jen is currently performing in The Language Archive at East West Players, and when she told him she had been cast in this production, and would be performing both the night before and the night after their wedding, he said to her, “Jennifer, I don’t even care if you have to miss the banquet. I just need you to be at the wedding.”  So I could see right away that he was a man who would always be there to support my friend, and never hold her back. 

We have a saying in our theatre company, which is that we want tkeep the drama on stage. Drama is what plays are for. Real life shouldn’t be like that. Real life should be warm, safe, and happy. And that’s what her life is like with Daniel Yin.  So I could not be more thrilled to see Jennifer finally meet her match, and get right to the business of building her life with him. Thanks for coming into her life, Dan. You are more than another unique and precious person for Jen’s collection. You are the man that she needed to find.

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